|Don't know why I don't ramble here.
||[Sep. 13th, 2003|02:42 am]
Seems like that would be right up my alley. Maybe I don't have anything to say other than to gossip about my friends, which I don't want to do. (Rest assured it would be favorable gossip.) I always kept diaries to remember what I was thinking about, then I kept them in broken Japanese, then in photos. I think it's because I'm not thinking very much, truthfully.
I really think Japanese takes up such a huge space in my head, but it's just like music, lulling me in an ignorant alpha-wave bliss or something. I always thought my mind was quite verbally oriented, but living in Japan might be making me less so (sounds contradictory, I know). At first (for a year?) I taihen soaked up books English books while getting all my Japanese through a straw. A really, really small straw, yeah, uh.... Oh, anyway, while I'm getting really good and planning hour-long conversations with people I don't know, in English I mean, it's getting to be less and less what I want to do every day, because it means I'm not to use or tolerate spoken Japanese. But I'd be content at this point to float through every day on Japanese, like Muyan and the whole English Studio crowd.
Anyone who doesn't go to English Studio, you will never know how cool it is and what you are missing. It's the most inviting school in the world, and it fills up with all the right kind of people from all over the place... Truly a place you forget to leave.
So, I was saying, if I'm going to keep track of something, I should hurry up and keep a media journal like Peter. Except I hardly ever see movies, and if I did, I'd probably be like, "I saw the middle of this thing on TV, it was like community theatre, and this obnoxiously enthusiastic birl annoying the eff out of two guys, and she always appends everything with "Kusaikara" ("cuz it smells"). They beat her up, she left, and then came back, in sexy clothes and different hair, acting totally different but still bugging them (trying to write on them with a marker, giving them her underwear, spraying their heads with water, making them pose for pictures and stuff, and still going "kusaikara" between all this polite speech, and one guy looked like a japanese moby, and the girl was kinda big and homely but a reaaally good actress. They beat her up again, and then.. well, I don't know, didn't finish watching it."
(First entry in media journal, September 13, 2003, early-morning basic programming)
John (my brother) called me this morning with all kinds of new and interesting things to tell me, and I was groggy as hell and about to go to Japanese class. (I felt completely mentally exhausted, and like I was getting a respiratory infection. Ugh. Then English studio after work, so I got home after midnight. (STILL didn't want to leave, though.)) I don't know anyone as interesting or as nice as him, so I feel bad I didn't talk more. He's at sea, on what sounds like a dangerous assignment to me, and although I don't know what his title is, I know he has the power to ream 50-year-old guys for things like leaving while on watch, as well as to decree whether someone is entitled to a towel (at least I think that's what I heard). I would love to take him around Japan. Otouto ni aita-i!
On other John-related news Johnny Cash AND John Ritter died today? How sad is that?
The above statement sounded like a headline in CRUDE(c), but it sadly wasn't.
I talked to synthesoid tonight.
Synthesoid: susan i am afraid/ that they want to eat my brains/ susan they/ i don't know how/ they killed me/....i have a sterner outline now
Synthesoid: she is a wholesome smoking nerd/ an imagining/ if i were but a genie in the lamp/ of my own dream/ but, instead/ her american sportscar is red/ she used to be a stripper she said/ we go to the place where she teased teh men/ no fable/ no fairytale/ just fast scenes in b cinema/ comprimising idiocies/ we all want to be touched .
ChlOrPh: first one is awesome
Synthesoid: i must have had an unavoidable walk/ because she picked me up/ this time i'll be the girl AND on top/ i had a brown and white hawaiin print on/ say that she love me
Synthesoid: i just want to know how you feel?
ChlOrPh: pick me up,drop in, drop off/ can't shake this cough/ a melon on the sand/ a ship or perhaps barge/ i'm fine thank you and you?
Synthesoid: an understanding of mathmatics has expanded my feeling tonality. nearly colliding planetside, in eliptical orbit. grabbing kisses, oxygen canisters, whatever i can find. i'm a hungry humanoid. tonight i will fuck, as wright and wrong seem like the traced path of the bouncy ball. no one seems to weather the know, like i do. can you set your hands on that?
ChlOrPh: a white elipse/ cactus punch/ which end of the sphere are we on? they came this far, this western bar, to give their names away
Synthesoid: applause and applesauce
ChlOrPh: ambulance and gyroscope
Synthesoid: 9 months since real sex/ 30 days since mediation/ 1 fake relationship/ and one more epihany (of the cosmic sort) / 2 faces i have at least/ the gnarly mask draws out my hips spurs/ buries me in white sugar. / the round mask/ buries me in the black cool air/ and makes me play with this sun/ you never fully knew me.
Synthesoid: i am an initiation right of ancient grecian proportion/ i am a black mystery better left to maggoty worms/ i am silence, the watchful roar
Synthesoid: sometimes the details get painted in with kindergarten colors/ tonight i wont mind the eats/ they've a job ta do and i've a vein to drink for/ it's just because.../the backwards name calls
Synthesoid: eats = ants
ChlOrPh: my new box set/ eleven high/ these jeans this date last year/ if i were a feast i'd feed you/ if i were a letter i'd call you/ ten letters high and mountainside
Synthesoid: i like that one
ChlOrPh: Yay! compliments from eric are good
Synthesoid: dimes keep falling out of his pocket, he leans over, again and again. he cries "you fucking dimes". how existential can you get? this much: he imagines flying saucers emitting from his dick when he has an orgasm. he can't keep the dimes under control, it's a cycle, the sun glints off dimes, he reaches for them more fall...it's hard to keep it all together....even with caffeine.
ChlOrPh: holy shit
Synthesoid: i think i just got the words right on that last one
Synthesoid: i have to go, we will instapoem again though.
Synthesoid: i just saved this'un
Synthesoid: bye bye
ChlOrPh: i did too, bye bye!
Synthesoid signed off at 3:04:15.
Sumo was really good AGAIN tonight, with Asashoryu and Takamisakari in great form and Chiyotaikai on the ground again.
So that's what I'm thinking about, heehee, sorry if I've been taking without receiving. One of my Friday kids told me, "Teacher's head, inside, I don't know." So I hope he's alone there, especially after this. m(o.0)m
Thank you very much, and goodnight.