morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day.
* Frank Sinatra
The problem with some people is that when they aren't drunk,
* William Butler Yeats
An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend time
with his fools.
* Ernest Hemingway
Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach
you to keep your mouth shut.
* Ernest Hemingway
You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.
* Dean Martin
Drunk is feeling sophisticated when you can't say it.
No animal ever invented anything as bad as drunkenness - or as
good as drink.
* G.K. Chesterton
Time is never wasted when you're wasted all the time.
* Catherine Zandonella
Abstainer: a weak person who yields to the temptation of denying
himself a pleasure.
* Ambrose Bierce
Reality is an illusion that occurs due to lack of alcohol.
Drinking provides a beautiful excuse to pursue the one activity
that truely gives me pleasure, hooking up with fat hairy girls.
* Jef Wallace
A woman drove me to drink and I didn't even have the decency to
What contemptible scoundrel has stolen the cork to my lunch?
* W.C. Fields
Beauty lies in the hands of the beer holder.
Work is the curse of the drinking classes.
* Oscar Wilde
When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.
* Henny Youngman
Life is a waste of time, time is a waste of life, so get wasted
all of the time and have the time of your life.
I'd rather have a bottle in front of me, than a frontal
* Tom Waits
24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence?
* Stephen Wright
When we drink, we get drunk. When we get drunk, we fall asleep.
When we fall asleep, we commit no sin. When we commit no sin, we go to
heaven Sooooo, let's all get drunk, and go to heaven...
* Brian O'Rourke
You can't be a real country unless you have a beer and an
airline - it helps if you have some kind of a football team, or some
nuclear weapons, but at the very least you need a beer.
* Frank Zappa
Always remember that I have taken more out of alcohol than
alcohol has taken out of me.
* Winston Churchill
He was a wise man who invented beer.
Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.
* Benjamin Franklin
If you ever reach total enlightenment while drinking beer, I bet
it makes beer shoot out your nose.
* Deep Thought, Jack Handy
Without question, the greatest invention in the history of
mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but
the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza.
* Dave Barry
The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks
* Humphrey Bogart
Why is American beer served cold? So you can tell it from urine.
* David Moulton